Change is weird. There are no two ways about it. Big or small, a change in one area of your life has a domino effect on the rest of it.
I moved rooms this last week. I’ve gone from the small room in the house, to the big one. I didn’t know until I left it, that the small room was actually made out of the same material as Mary Poppins’ bag. It became apparent when what had filled the small room, also managed to fill the big room.
I went into that weekend thinking it was going to be no big deal. I was moving about 4 meters to the left. What sort of real change could that bring?
Lots as it turns out.
You see me moving into that room means someone has moved out of it. It’s the most bittersweet thing for me. My best friend is moving into a new season of her life. It’s wonderful to watch (well right now it’s funny to watch because she’s set up a tent in our back garden for a little while until her new place is ready – she’s basically a wood nymph though, so this is not unexpected or surprising) but it’s also sad because we have only been able to live together for a year. We knew from the first cup of tea that we shared, that our friendship would be something special and last a life time, but being in her room, and trying to make it mine now – well it’s weird.
I also got some new things for this room – because it was bigger. One of those things was a clock. It was put on the market place page that we have for our church. It’s got a really nice cream edging and the hands are a deep red. It’s really cool. It’s loud though. I got so excited about the concept of owning a clock (I think I thought it would make me more grown up) that I forgot how loudly I HEAR clocks. I hear all of them. Incessantly. When I released how loud this clock was I thought it was going to be a problem very quickly. It turns out though that there’s something about it’s consistency that is actually very soothing. Also, I’m more aware of the time now. Which is important for someone like me who is perpetually late if I’m not careful.
I thought that since I was moving rooms, I would also use this as a season to grow in my tidiness factor. I was not born with a whole lot of that naturally and I decided that this room would THE room. The room that I got tidy in. I sent a photo to a friend of mine in Australia of my new room. I had spent hours sorting it, getting everything in it’s place. I was so pleased. I sent him this:
And he responded with this:
… I like it. What I did notice was the bottom left of the bookshelf, it’s almost like there’s the old Sarah that I know. You’ve put everything else in it’s place perfectly all around the room, and then the bottom shelf is like “ah man, I forgot I had to find a place for this stuff. This is the perfect place for it” and then you put it all there!
I looked at the picture again and I laughed. Because he’s right. I love to organise, but I’m not always good at organising myself. And there is always going to be a part of me that is not 100% tidy. And I can spend my life trying to change that and feeling inadequate, or I can realise that that is a part of me and it’s OK.
I’m not saying that I get to spend my life in a mess all the time or I should make no effort to be organised, because that would not be stewarding well the things that God has given me. But God has gifted me in areas of hospitality and creativity and leadership and other things that I haven’t even discovered yet, and I can spend my time trying to change the things that are weak about me and probably fail, or I can grow in my strengths and manage my weaknesses to the best of my ability and seek God’s joy in all that that brings.
So, change IS weird. It’s where we discover the most about ourselves. It’s where we realise what matters to us and what doesn’t. It’s where we learn what we are good at and what we aren’t. Change helps you change. And that can be a good thing.